Back away from Del Rey

Once, we went to Thorpe Park and rode the Nemesis Inferno, and as soon as it took off a fly went in Pigeon's mouth and he nearly died.

This, however, is nothing compared to the roller coaster Lana Del Rey (Lizzy Grant if you want to be all smug) has been on in the past 12 months.

In January 2010 'Lizzy Grant' released an album. It disappeared after a little while, and 'Video Games' emerged towards the end of summer 2011. Everyone loved it, and by December Lana Del Rey had become mega famous.

A few weeks later Del Rey appears on Saturday Night Live. Her singing is a little bit wobbly, and all of a sudden 'the internet' turns on her. Critics jump on the talent they were once so quick to claim they discovered, and lots of lonely old men have been using mummy's laptop to post their expert opinion on Lana's performance.

Building people up only to knock them down is nothing new. NME have been doing it for years. What's surprising here is the speed with which someone has gone from global mega star to endangered species in such a short space of time.

Del Rey is a huge new talent. We know realmusic™ fans want someone who writes their own material and has a unique voice. Here she is. And what does 'the internet' do to her? Shouts her down and declares her finished for one dodgy (it's not even dodgy, it's just not flawless) performance.

Lest we forget, realmusic™'s last pin up, Amy Winehouse, made a career out of being shit live, whilst pop's princess (grandma) Madonna is hardly renowned for her vocal ability.

In this digital age any idiot with a computer ("hello") can have an opinion that is somehow validated by being visible to the world. What people (us included) need to be careful of is destroying the deities we create before they've even had a chance to show us what they can do.

All we can say to Del Rey is "you must be this high to ride, and please fasten your safety belt". We've got sick bags if you need them.