"Quick! Girls Aloud are on hiatus, but the new Saturdays' album isn't ready and we need to cash in. WHAT SHALL WE DO?!"

We're intrigued by this new Saturdays' single EP album 'Headlines' thing. The label are calling it an album, but surely that's just so that they can stick it in a jewel case and charge full price for it.

It's 8 songs long. Or, specifically, six songs long with a remix and a radio edit. Three of which have already been released, in one form or another, as part of the last album.

Let's be clear before we go off on one. We like the Saturdays. They have some good songs. They're no Girls Aloud. But that doesn't mean we couldn't do with another good girl group. We'd like them to succeed. But this, to be frank(ie), smacks of record label desperation.

We've been intrigued to see how they were planning to flog this to the public. Here's how:


This is probably the first draft. The real thing will read something like this:

"The UK's hottest girlband are busy having malaria, designing a make up range for gingers, hiding in America from their fellow bandmates, pursuing an acting career and, er, what is Kimberly up to? So The Saturdays are ready to try and cash in with three old tracks and some songs that were on hold for the Girls Can't Catch album.

This hastily thrown together collection features a child's handful of songs, most noteably their vocodered-to-within-an-inch-of-its-life single, 'Missing You' (due 8th Aug). Also featured on the album is the (mildly disappointing number 9) hit 'Ego' and their number two smash 'Forever Is Over'! (actually these were both 'very good')

With some incredible old tat EXCLUSIVE to pre-orders only, we are on our knees begging you to please, please, please, please, we have no shame, please BUY NOW!

Pre-order your copy through HMV for a free GIANT (A6) poster of The Saturdays. Alternatively iTunes are offering bonus videos, which we definitely filmed exclusively for this release and not for the release of the singles as part of a previous marketing campaign, PLUS exclusive acoustic versions (Oh God - Frankie without auto tune) of the hits 'Ego' and 'Forever is Over'.

All this absolutely FREE, once you've paid £5.99, with your pre-order of 'Headlines'! Make sure you get in there quick guys and girls!"

Now, let's take a look at the video for the new single 'Missing You'. This is the song that was apparently so good that it demanded an entire mini-album be constructed around it.



Pfft.

Ok, ok. We've been a little harsh in this post perhaps, but if you want to nurture a wonderful new girl band you can't treat the public like a bunch of dim-witted twats with no ears and money to burn. People, especially pop fans, are not stupid. This is the very point upon which the record industry is falling down. You can't force feed us tat. You can't manipulate us. We don't care about free shit you pulled out the back of a cupboard. Or special editions. Or eight minute extended dance workout remixes. Or interim mini-albums. We just want good songs. You want to know the secret of Girls Aloud's success? It's because they release fucking great songs.

So, The Saturdays and your A&R team, you just need to give us more of this:



We're only telling you because we care.