Cheryl Cole is not as unlike a brussel sprout as you might have imagined

It was not so long ago that we were poking fun and boo-hoo-hooing over how rubbish we thought Cheryl Cole's 'Fight For This Love' was. However, it also wasn't so long ago that we were tucking our tail between our legs, muttering it was actually quite incredible and listening to it on repeat for days on end.

And the same thing has happened with her '3 Words' track. At first we thought it was a load of lightweight tosh - but now we have grown to love it (hence the sprout reference above). It is fortunate for Cheryl's career that it doesn't take at least 20 years of annual exposure to have this effect.

'3 Words' crept into the Top 40 without an official single release due to the fact that it is A. the title of her album and B. the first song on said album. Curiousity didn't kill this kitten, it rocketed it into the Top 40, as people wanted a second song to work out whether 'Fight For This Love' was a one off. It wasn't. The new Cheryl Cole single (if that is what it is and the following is not just some visuals to go along with an accidental hit) is bloody brilliant and as for the video? Well, it certainly seems like Cheryl Cole is getting the A List treatment she deserves from her record label.

AHEAD LIES A VERY COSTLY VIDEO (but not at the expense of it being a decent watch - it is thoroughly amazing).



Guess she'll be stood in the middle when Girls Aloud get back together in the (increasingly distant) future.

Really bloody great: The Priors

As well as seeing Muchuu at the weekend (see below) we also saw The Priors. We've mentioned them a couple of times in the past (Yann Destal & Raw Man blah blah blah), but we just wanted to point out how exceptional they were live.

It's not often you see a band and feel you are privy to something rather special, but this really was one of those times. The Priors' tracks are leagues ahead of most electro/pop/indie crossovers, and their live set was so good we forgot our shoes were sticking to the floor with all the spilled beer and sick.

On the strength of what we saw at the weekend they've got an albums worth of fucking brilliant™ material, and will easily avoid the we've-got-one-fantastic-single-which-is-going-to-make-us-huge-but-then-after-that-the-rest-is-a-bit-of-a-let-down-(Temper)-trap that blights so many exciting, but inevitably unfulfilled, acts at the moment.

They were so good that a lovely old man bought them both a beer mid-set, put it at the front of the stage and did a thumbs up. This is the sort of thing you probably wouldn't get away with at Shepherd's Bush Empire, but those are the sort of venues that The Priors need to start playing.

If we were doctors, and your illness was a distinct lack of good music, we would prescribe The Priors. We'll make it easy for you. Here's 'What You Need' ('What You Need' is the name of the song, and we were also telling you that this is 'what you need'. See what we did there?)



More prescription medication on The Priors' Myspace.

PS. Apologies for the rubbish photo. If you try to focus on the two shadowy figures, either side of the rather fetching lamp which dominates the picture, you'll be looking at The Priors. We really need an i-phone and/or a fully functioning set of eyes.

New Music Monday (with the added bonus of a Monday Download): Muchuu

We mentioned Muchuu in passing a little while back. The boy/girl duo make downtempo floaty dance music, sometimes including a tin whistle and/or xylophone and/or flute, but manage to steer their sound a million miles from any suggestion of hippy love and Joss Sticks.

Muchuu's music is actually more the sort of thing you might hear at a trendy club night in Camden on a Saturday. And it's funny we should say that, because that is exactly where we saw them this weekend.

Milky and George demonstrated that their repertoire extends far beyond the three tracks we've heard so far, and made us very excited to hear more recorded material. The only downside was when Milky threw some glitter and a bit of it went in our drink. You owe us a pint Muchuu.

In a further twist of fate what should be sitting in our inbox this morning, but a Muchuu track to give away.

Download: Muchuu 'Adventure We Go'.
(You can also get it here and be subscribed to the mailing list at the same time if you like that sort of thing clogging up your inbox)

We have a suspicion this might be some sort of marketing ploy in exchange for us promoting their NEW SINGLE 'Somebody Tell Me' which just so happens to be out TODAY and available HERE, but to be honest we would have written about them anyway so everyone is a winner.

Here's the official line on 'Somebody Tell Me' straight from the PR's mouth:
"Milky’s childlike vocals playfully urge the listener to close the curtains and sneak out the back door to a magical star-lit forest, armed with nothing but a spring in their step and a pocketful of penny chews."

And here's what we said about it:
"Opens with strings reminiscent of Prokofiev's Peter & The Wolf, before a Dragonette style vocal drops in and then the beats get going and you suddenly think you are in a forest having a little dance with some pixies."

So the overall conclusion is that it sounds like you're in a forest. Which can only be a good thing because there will be plenty of trees to make all the oxygen you're going to use up dancing around and shouting "This is bloody brilliant".

Keep track of Muchuu's adventures in the forest (and everywhere else as well) at their Myspace.

This is going to be a long post header: Download: Simian Mobile Disco feat Beth Ditto 'Cruel Intentions' Joker Remix

Clever, clever Robot posted the video for the Simian Mobile Disco feat Beth Ditto track 'Cruel Intentions' about two weeks ago, but it only seems to have hit the UK today. He must have finally got the time machine in the attic working.

Along with the video, the promotional campaign includes a rather wonderful Joker remix of the track

Download: Simian Mobile Disco & Beth Ditto 'Cruel Intentions' Joker Remix

We would use one word to describe this 'dirty'. Or maybe 'grimy'. So 'dirty grimy'. That's two words.

This has got us all bouncy and excited for Neon Noise project tonight. Pigeon really needs to lay off the coffee or he's going to get all shaky and fall over again.

You can go to Joker Myspace here. No, seriously.
And Simian Mobile Disco Myspace has not moved from here.
Ditto Ditto's.

The new Hadouken! album artwork is jolly good

This is what the new Hadouken! album will look like when it eventually (grows long beard waiting) hits the shelves/iTunes listings.


It would appear that they have more than just East London in mind this time around. They are clearly thinking a little more 'global'. 'Hello Kuwait, do you like Hadouken!?' etc.

Funny looking women and a man throwing his giant willy over his shoulder? We can't help but approve

It's not often you'd look to the US r&b scene for videos that are both amusing and subversive. We've ignored many pimps and hos videos in our time - but this one we are unable to let slip.

Major Lazer, Nina Sky or Ricky Blaze are all generally amazing to various degrees but we are now fully signed-up fans of all three for being involved in a video as amazing their 'Keep It Goin' Louder' clip.

It should be watched and not discussed so we are going to shut the hell up now.



Two more things to add:

1. The song is not bad either.
2. Both Robot and Pigeon grew up in the Westcountry where people sometimes really do look like that :(

The video is directed by Eric Wareheim who is basically the new Chris Cunningham.

Enrique Iglesias gets naked and has a wank to drum up some interest in yet another rubbish old ballad

Enrique used to be ok you know. The Spanglish version of 'Hero' was unexpectedly amazing, and 'I'm Not In Love' feat Kelis was one of the most under-rated duets of all time. But then he started seeing that lady off of the tennis and did that song based around the sound of a ping pong ball and everything went a bit tits up.

Everyone knows that if interest in your career is going lukewarm there's nothing better than some controversy (see wardrobe malfunction/head shaving/black baby adoption) to stir up interest in your boring old music. So Enrique has gone and made a rudey video, for new single 'Sad Eyes', which MTV are refusing to play. The song is, predictably, diabolical. So we have kindly watched the video for you and picked the highlights.

It all starts innocently enough with Enrique alone in his hotel room (in his pants) watching back some videos of when people used to buy his records. Then he flicks over to buy some Diamonique on QVC and...
Uh oh, what's this on Channel X? But let's not judge. We've all put porn on totally by accident, and then the remote stops working, and then your mum walks in and...

Someone has seen Videodrome one too many times. Forget Debbie Harry, if he carries on kissing the TV like that he's going to end up with a nasty static shock.

No wonder he's paying for it if this is representative of the Iglesias groupies.

If you cover the left hand side of this frame it's like Enriques is doing the "Look I folded my arm over to make it look like a bottom" trick.

The flat downstairs are not going to be happy about this AT ALL. I don't care who your dad is - look at the water coming through the ceiling.

*GASP*

He is probably just having a lovely dream about kittens or something.

It's all rather sad (eyes) really.


Tweet

Some Swedish techno/hip-hop and some cartoon breasts

British people have to wait for a lot of things. Buses for example, or summer.

We have also had over a year to wait to find out what on earth Swedish rapper Eboi was going on about in his collaboration with producers Far & Son, 'Panic' (which has been 'around' in it's Swedish original for quite some time.

Now, after a translation into English it turns out the general gist of this was 'oh hello, I am quite popular with ladies, have a bit of a potty mouth and am a fan of a little drink'. It's the usual hip-hop fare, but luckily the production is rather marvellous and it all reminds us a little bit of tracks like 'Regegade Master' from the nineties.

Plus, there is also a lot of Familiy Guy in the 'video' which we cannot complain about, mostly focusing on the antics of Quagmire and Lois Griffin's breasts.

This is what people in Sweden like to dance around to.

Our carefully considered thoughts on the Pussycat Dolls split rumours

Have the Pussycat Dolls split? Have the Pussycat Dolls not-split? We do not know. We are a music blog, not Mystic Meg.

Our only thoughts on the current split-speculation are as follows:

A. We saw them in concert at the start of the year and they were rather excellent.

B. If this is the end of Pussycat Dolls we can be fairly sure we won't be troubled by any more than one solo singing career.

C. If the split is due to the Pussycat Dolls who aren't called Nicole Scherzinger resenting the success of the Pussycat Doll who is called Nicole Scherzinger - surely her solo plans are totally justified, since she's been carrying the group by doing all the singing ever since they released 'Don't Cha' back in 2005.

D. Also, if this is the end of Pussycat Dolls, there will be a lot less 'phwoar Pussycat Dolls' thinking done by men who have seen photos of the girls from a distance once, noticed their clothes are rather scant and thought 'yup, she must be sexy'. They are sort-of sexy yes, but mostly in that 'we might show you a tit later on' sort-of sexy.

E. Robot still remembers the day he realised he knew how to spell 'Scherzinger' without having to reference The Internet and recalls this moment as one of the proudest in his journalism/musical wittering career.

If this truly is the end of the Pussycat Dolls, then it is a sad day for the corset industry :(

Apparently Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting, but it's also pretty good for live music...

Robot & Pigeon were thinking of doing a club night. Then we put the tv on and Spooks was on so we had to watch that instead. BUT if we were going to run a club night we would like the line up to be something like this:
In case you can't read that (yes, yes, the owl is all very pretty and shit, but no-one knows who the hell is playing) here's why we are excited:

Do you remember what you were doing on the 28th October? We do. We were writing about Muchuu. Remember now? They are musically versed well beyond their youthful appearance, and to say we are excited to see them live is sort of like saying World War II was a little bit sad.

GCSE Music are playing too. 'Don't Forget' on their Myspace sounds like they could be rather interesting. Let's hope they don't sound like Pigeon's GCSE Music exam, which involved a violin and 'Those Magnificent Men In Their Flying Machines' *hangs head in shame*

But BUt BUT bUT buT but. The most exciting news is that The Priors are playing. You may remember The Priors from such Robot Pigeon blog posts as this one. It's Yann Destal and Raw Man's project. Their track 'Into The Fight' is seven minutes long. It's also one of the best seven minutes you will ever experience. It's got strings on it so maybe Pigeon should take along his violin? In short, The Priors are really something to get excited about and you should take this opportunity to see them before the rest of the world catches on. And let's face it, a large proportion of 'the world' read Robot Pigeon, so you've not got long...

The whole thing is a Play It By Ear Club night, and it's at The Monarch in Camden (which is in London - sorry rest of the world) on Saturday night. Tickets etc etc etc here.

If you click on the word Muchuu you will magically go to their Myspace.
The same can be said for GCSE Music
And again for The Priors. Technology. Wonderful.

Bonjour monsieur, ou est le free download? C'est ici

The things that Monsieur Adi did to Visitor's 'Los Feeling' with his remix were practically illegal.

OK, so that's an enormous exaggeration because you can't be arrested for taking a song, changing a few bits around and making it into an altogether different and altogether amazing new song. We literally couldn't get enough of it when the internet was flooded with 'Los Feeling' remixes (that and Fear of Tigers version).

But that was then and this is now - and once again we are addicted to the work of Monsieur Adi. This time, it's his debut solo single, 'We Are The Romans', an epic, regal-sounding piece of pop brilliant full of synths, synthy vocals, synths choirs, other synth parts and a lot more synths besides.

We would also like to point out that Monsieur Adi has the tidiest Top Friends on MySpace we have ever seen:


Moving forward (and also backward because this is more on 'We Are The Romans') you have three options here. You can either -

A. Listen to 'We Are The Romans' at the Monsieur Adi MySpace.

B. Click here to download 'We Are The Romans', stick it on your ipod and listen to it on the way to the shops sometime.

or

C. Click here to download all the remix stems and have a bash at remixing 'We Are The Romans'.

The choice is, quite literally, yours. We made ours, and we're off to the Spar with some lovely Italian dance music in our ears.

We have rumbled you, I Am Noxious

Right 'I Am Noxious' just 'Noxious' or 'Mr T' - who the hell are you?

There is no chance that this chap is just some music newcomer because his stuff is so polished, thoughtful and above all - totally and utterly brilliant.

His older songs - 'Left & Right', 'Love Is A Stranger', 'We Pray' and most notably 'Caught In The Snow (In The Summer') - are amazing and his new song 'Show You Everything' is possibly his most amazing piece of work yet. It sounds like Hot Chip duetting with Major Morgan (or possibly Steven Hawking) and is yet another piece of glorious melancholy pop to add to his little collection of amazingness.

He describes the new song as 'Fleet Foxes meets the Macarena' which we think is selling it a bit short. After all, nobody really likes Fleet Foxes.

We do not believe for one second that he is just some clever young man in his bedroom. Oh no. This is some huge corporate scam and our money is on this all being some top-secret new project by an already-massive popstar. Our money is on either Alex Taylor (of Hot Chip) or perhaps Dannii Minogue.

Listen to all his amazing music at the I Am Noxious MySpace.

A bit gloomy but also very good, here is the new Fever Ray video

Of all the popstars in the world we would like to go to the pub and get really drunk with, we are afraid to say that Karin Dreijer Andersson aka her-out-of The Knife aka Fever Ray is not one of our top choices. We apologise Ms Andersson, but we just think getting wasted with Britney would be more of a laugh.

However, drinking partners aside, there's no doubt that as Fever Ray, Andersson has made some seriously wonderful sounds, perhaps even eclipsing her work with The Knife with the frosty yearning of her solo work.

If you have been following the release schedule of singles from the album, then you will know that 'Keep The Streets Empty For Me' is about the 28th single from her album, and is the perfect example of how wonderful her music is. It is also a perfect example of why Britney would make a better drinking partner. We can't quite imagine Andersson shouting about old things we saw on telly once and then toddling off with us for a Big Mac afterwards.



It's quite nice to see that there are still videos for Fever Ray singles being made despite not selling any copies of her previous releases. If we were dealing with, say, The Saturdays here, then one or two underperforming singles would result in an emergency meeting followed with five very glum faces and a possible rename to The Mid-Morning Tuesdays. In other words, it's nice to see there is support for Fever Ray from her label without chasing commercial success -after all, there's still not even been a ruddy Rex The Dog remix.

This is going to be in our head ALL night now: Kelis 'Acapella'

We're not sure if Kelis has looked into the etymology of acapella (or A capella), but the origin of the word is Italian, and it means 'from the chapel or choir'. So when Kelis sings "Before you, my whole life was a capella" she is actually saying "Before you, my whole life was from the choir". Is she implying that before this all her boyfriends were tubby, buck toothed old Christians? Probably not, but you know what, who gives a shit about etymology when a song is this fucking good.



We'll get the hasty comparisons out the way quickly - it sounds like a hi-NRG remix of Kylie's 'I Believe In You'.

Actually it sounds like a whole amalgamation of things which shouldn't really work together, or, in fact, ever have been put together in the first place (like pizza with salad in the middle - which idiot thought of that?).

And yet it works. Perhaps simply through its sheer audacity. Or perhaps, and this seems more likely, through Kelis' ability to sell a song. Who else could get away with lyrics like "My heart that you play on, red like a crayon"? And not just get away with them, but make them sound like the best lyrics your ears have ever had the pleasure of ingesting, whilst simultaneously acknowledging that they are indeed a bit sloppy.

Kelis has that rare quality of being an authentic star. You get the impression that Kelis would sit at home and listen to the latest Kelis album. Not because Kelis is an egomaniac, but because Kelis makes music that Kelis would listen to, and Kelis is cool. So by proxy if you listen to Kelis, which is the sort of music that Kelis would listen to, you too are cool.

Acapella is one of the most interesting and infectious songs we have heard since Barbie Girl *please insert a much cooler and relevant reference here*. You can add it to the list, alongside 'Caught Out There', 'Milkshake' and 'Trick Me', of 'Kelis songs which sound like they were released just last week, but are actually up to a decade old'.

We wouldn't want to spend Christmas day with Riton and Primary 1

Don't get to stuck into the mince pies just yet, because Riton and Primary 1 are still celebrating halloween in their new video, 'Radiates'. There's nothing festive about their new collaboration, unless your idea of Christmas involves zombies, spaceships and mangled faces - although we have definitely had a few New Years Eves that have involved all three of those.

The teaming-up between vocalist Primary 1 and producers Riton has now resulted in the grand total of two brilliant singles, the spooky 'Who's There' and now the, err, spooky 'Radiates'. The new one is a lot more commercial with its Proper Pop Song parts such as verses and choruses but with a dark, electro feel and Primary 1's near-threatening vocals, manages to keep a tight hold on the underground scene both have built a name for themselves in, while taking another step towards a more widespread, daylit sort of success.



It's all a bit like Calvin Harris but a lot cooler and a lot less stage-invadey.

Us? Impressed by the Deluxe Edition of the Empire of the Sun album? As if! OK, maybe a little...

What sort of gullible individual (or more specifically 'what sort of gullible Empire of the Sun fan) would be fooled by this special edition release of their incredible if slightly over-hyped and under-achieving debut album, Walking On A Dream.

After all, what fool would be swayed by the super-heavy pressing of the album - specifically mastered for vinyl, the stunning artbook featuring exclusive pictures of one of the most visually innovative pop bands in recent memory, the sketched album or the DVD featuring videos, behind the scenes footage, audio files, new tracks and ALL SORTS.

What fool? This fool, that's who. This knocks the so-called 'Special Edition' albums where people just add a new song on the end, maybe put a cardboard sleeve around the old packaging and wait for the money (for old rope) roll in. This is how every 'special edition' should look and rivals Lady GaGa's delux version of The Fame Monster for the year's most over the top collection. The only way Luke Steele and Nick Littlemore could have topped GaGa putting a lock of her own hair in her re-release would have been to start chopping off their own fingers and slipping them in alongside the record.

Basically, WE WANT THIS.

Sadly, the $135 price tag makes this a slightly unreasonable request. It is pretty though.

Grum takes the night (ie, remixes of a song called Took The Night)

One word we wouldn't use to describe Northern* DJ/producer Grum is 'camp'. Sure, there's a bit of gayness in all of us, but his brilliant dance music is mostly big, bleepy and boisterous. For example: his amazing 'Heartbeats'.

However, his latest venture is altogether a little more flouncy, as even Grum would struggle to beef-up Chelley's 'Took The Night'. It's as camp as a row of pink chiffon tents, but unlike the original, lends itself to having fun on the dancefloor more than standing around in designer clothes stressing about getting anything spilled down your t shirt. In other words, it's a little bit bloody good.

Chelley 'Took The Night' (Grum remix)

Now if you'll excuse us, we've got some Sex & The City to watch. Toodles.

Grum at MySpace.

* Robot didn't do GSCE geography - does Leeds count as 'Northern'?

Reni Lane: we're sure no one will object to having a second red-headed electropop lady on the scene

Let's not fool ourselves - electropop is not just something the British have embraced this year. Even American artists, such as the usually-quite-rocky Reni Lane have had a look at the current interest in electronic pop music and thought: 'Hmmm, I want me some of that'.

Lucky for her, she's got red hair so we can write things like: Reni Lane - everbody's second favourite red-headed lady of modern pop music. In other words, we'll make some lazy comparisions to La Roux and hope it stirs up a little bit of interest in our writing and the song in question. *Sigh* that's just the way these things work.

The track in question is her current single 'Place For Us', which has been remixed in quite spectacular fashion from the lady-rock original to a spiky electronic mini-masterpiece. Ms Lane and her 'people' (record label employees and other types on the payroll hoping to make a bit of cash out of the woman) have so much faith in the Glitter and Blitz remix that there is even a video. Said video is right here.



Not entirely misplaced faith as the song and remix are VV Good. If you liked it, the following may be of interest to you:

Download: Reni Lane 'Place For Us' (Glitter and Blitz remix)

There is more Reni Lane music at her MySpace. It is more of the guitar and drums variety but it is nonetheless generally good.

There is a new Janet Jackson video. It is good.

It's a really awful thing to say, but Janet Jackson will probably get a whole lot more popular now that Michael Jackson is dead. THIS IS SAD BUT TRUE. However, any boost in popularity would also depend on her first post-brother death single. Would it be another of her trademark 'slow-jam' dirges or one of her often amazing pop records?

Hurrah. It's not a slow jam. Hurrah x 2 - the new Janet Jackson single 'Make Me' is very good in a dirty-disco sort of way.



Recent Events have not taken their toll on Janet's looks either, as she is currently looking rather amazing. Disclaimer: Pre and post-production on Janet's appearance may have taken place.

Dear ears, brace yourselves: Download: Visitor 'Hurt Someone' Kolt 13 Remix

Yesterday we got Fear Of Tigers in our inbox and it was one of the best days of our lives (apart from when Pigeon went on the front of Nemesis at Thorpe Park and swallowed a fly).

Today we got Visitor in our inbox. Or, to be precise, the Kolt 13 remix of Hurt Someone.

DOWNLOAD: Visitor 'Hurt Someone' Kolt 13 remix

We really are starting to think we were Mother Teresa (of Calcutta) and Gandhi in our past lives because a week doesn't get much better than this does it? (unless Roxette announce a reunion tomorrow)

There's not much to know about Kolt 13. He/she/it/they are French ("Bonjour"). As well as Visitor they have remixed Chromeo, Empire Of The Sun, Dragonette, and Phoenix. So we can safely say their taste in music receives the RobotPigeon seal of approval.

And we can't say too much more about Visitor because the dictionary has run out of nice words. So we'll just re-emphasise that we LOVE them in the face. And 'Hurt Someone' is our favourite track we've heard so far.

Can't wait to see what we get in our inbox tomorrow (come on Marie and Per).

Kolt 13 on myspace
Visitor on myspace (winner of RobotPigeon's most posted link 2009)

Proof that recording loads of ballads hasn't made Sia a boring old bag

'Oh yeah, I know Sia' you might be thinking, 'that miserable old bird who does all those ballads about break-ups being really shit and the sky being really pretty and stuff. Not my thing sorry.'

But this is not always the case.

Well, actually it is nearly always the case and a lot of people love her for what she does (us included, obvously) but every now and again she'll buck her very own trend and release something totally unique and in this instance, danceable.

'You've Changed' is a track from the upcoming fourth Sia solo album and was originally a rather uninspiring club collaboration with Lauren Flax. Sia liked it so much however, that she reworked it into something which sounds suspiciously like a disco song. Sia has never struck us as the sort to wear flares but who are we to judge what may or may not be lying at the back of her wardrobe.

'You've Changed' is genuinely rather spectacular, and despite a rather lightweight sentiment ('you've changed for the better') still manages to show off the fact that Sia is one of the best vocalists on the planet.

Best of all, it's here as a free download.

Download: Sia 'You've Changed'

The new Valerie mixtape: the best 50 minutes of your day - perhaps week (we don't know what else you have planned)

When it comes to ultra-cool French pop music record labels, the name on everyone's lips is first and foremost Kitsune. However, perhaps hovering somewhere around the tonsils or that wiggly thing at the back of the throat is (or really should be) fellow French collective Valerie, who are without question responsible for the most warmest, most uplifting electro-pop-dance music on the planet right now.

But while Kitsune have made their name with angular, cutting-edge pop music, Valerie's approach is altogether more 'shiny'. Their latest mixtape (free download link shortly, please bear with us) is the perfect example of how incredible the recent resurgence in 80s-influenced pop music can be. Their Indian Summer Mixtape is both a warm reminder of lazy August evenings in the park drinking warm cider and a serious kick in the teeth reminding us that we've got six months of bleak misery ahead in the UK before we can even think about having a drink outdoors again. Thanks 'the French'.

Indian Summer mixtape starts off subtle, with soulful cuts such as Jupiter's cover of 'Mama Used To Say' and Pacific!'s mixtape regular 'Hold Me' (Breakbot remix) but by the time Diamond Cut sticks his oar in, with his remix of 'I Like Watching You' by Cinnamon Chasers, it's proof that the 80s revival has kicked up some serious dancefloor action as much as it has slices of slick, shoulder-padded nostalgia.

However, we'll be totally honest, from the moment the Grum remix of Friendly Fires 'Skeleton Boy' kicks in, the shit well and truly hits the proverbial fan and we're into Best Mixtape of the Year territory.

Click here to download the most exciting 50 minutes of your day.

Here's the full tracklisting:

Holy Ghost! - I Will Come Back (Classixx Acapulco nights version)
David Rubato - Circuit (Siriusmo remix)
Jupiter - Mama Used To Say
Metric - Help I’m Alive (The Twelves remix)
Pacific! - Hold Me (Breakbot remix)
Lacquer - Behind
Château Marmont - Diane
Cinnamon Chasers - I Like Watching You (Diamond Cut remix)
Michael Cassette - Moonlight Runner
Friendly Fires - Skeleton Boy (Grum remix)
Zoot Woman - Saturation
Le Corps Mince De Françoise - Bitch of the Bitches (Russ Chimes remix)
Jamaica [PoneyPoney] - When Do You Wanna Stop Working (Pacific! remix)
The Juan Mc Lean - Happy House (VHS or Beta remix)
Passion Pit - Little Secrets

NOT A BAD LINE-UP EH?

Click here to visit the always-amazing Valerie blog.

We like beardy music full of instruments and such. Case in point? Mumford & Sons

Do we like Mumford & Sons?

Yes we do.

Do Mumford and Sons fit into our general liking of modern, electronic pop music which makes you dance and makes getting out of bed every day not only worth it but a bloody great big thrill?

Not in the slightest. They are beardy men who's music is incredibly uplifting even if there's a lot of 'instruments' where we usually prefer some synths and samples.

Still, no accounting for taste, least of all ours. We are very keen on 'Winter Winds' by Mumford & Sons. They are very smart young men and their beards are very well kept (unlike Robot's). Pigeon cannot grow a beard at all *sad-bald-face*



It makes us want to put on a nice coat and go for a walk in the woods. Which is basically saying that we want to be them, but we actually don't.

We're not scared of a little cat: Fear Of Tigers 'The Adventures of Pippi Longstrump' Diamond Cut Remix

Sometimes when we go to our inbox we have a message from our long lost cousin telling us we are due to inherit a million pounds. It's very exciting and we keep sending Abdul Manihasa our bank details, but he never seems to get back to us. Today, however, we totally hit the jackpot.

We had a message from the very wonderful Fear Of Tigers (purveyor of such audible orgasms as his Visitor and Sound Of Arrows remixes). He has asked us to give you this:

Download: Fear Of Tigers 'The Adventures of Pippi Longstrump' Diamond Cut Remix

Now, there are two very important things to note here, so get a pen and some paper and copy this down. We'll be testing you later.

1. Fear Of Tigers is making his own music.
2. Diamond Cut is remixing it.

Does life get any better? Well, yes it does actually. Fear Of Tigers is releasing an album on Dec 1st *giddy with excitement*. He is giving it away free *faints*.

There are only 49 days left of 2009 and to be honest we do not foresee anything topping that news so we'll safely call it the best news we've had all year™.

We don't have time to write any more because we're off to dance around our kitchen to 'The Adventures of Pippi Longstrump'. We suggest you do the same.

Get yourself back here on Dec 1st for the album though yeah?

Two of the best people in the world right now:
Fear Of Tigers Myspace
Diamond Cut Myspace

Old music Wednesday: Pulp 'Bad Cover Version'

A day late, but what the hell, it's not as if you all sitting there thinking "Oh good it's Tuesday, which means Robot Pigeon will dredge up some old shit they like for Old Music Tuesday".

This week's offering was inspired by the slew of fucking awful harmless and well meaning charity singles which have been rearing their heads of late so that record labels can cash in on people's guilt at spending so much money in the run up to Christmas to make money for those less fortunate than us.

It was also inspired by a conversation we had in the pub on friday, but let's just pretend it was purposely topical ok?

Pulp - Bad Cover Version
Uploaded by beautifulcynic. - Explore more music videos.

Both the song and video are great on oh so many levels. Here are a few of those in a list:

1. Produced by (the Godlike) SCOTT WALKER. If only he would put his mind to more like this, as opposed to chuntering away with Bat For Lashes, these days.
2. The video is a 'cover version' of the original song, which is about a 'cover version', featuring look-a-likes doing 'cover versions' of celebrities, which makes it so multi-layered it kind of goes from post modern back to modern back to post modern back to amazing again.
3. Cover version Kylie probably has a better voice than real Kylie.
4. Group chorus sing-a-long.
5. Underneath all the clever self-referentialness the song itself is actually bloody well amazing. In case you missed the metaphor it is about Jarvis thinking his lover's new relationship is like a cover version of their own relationship:
"the original was so good; the one you no longer own. And every touch reminds you of just how sweet it could have been"
How wonderfully bitter and wry and twisted.

We were going to write *goes and digs out Different Class*, but then we had a mental debate about whether 'This Is Hardcore' or 'We Love Life' were actually better, albeit less commercial (definitely not 'His and Hers' though), and couldn't come to a conclusion. *goes and digs out Different Class/This Is Hardcore/We Love Life (delete as appropriate)*

A Mystery: Joe Danger

If you go here you will be at the Joe Danger myspace. Mr Danger has a great song up called 'Superstar'.

If you go here you will be at the Public Service Announcers myspace. The Announcers had a great song called 'Money Blind'.

Joe Danger's vocals sound suspiciously like Joe from Public Service Announcers' vocals.

And they are both called Joe.

So there is only one conclusion we could come to: People called Joe sound similar and both make some brilliant music.

Beyonce & Lady Gaga make some crank calls: 'Video Phone' & 'Telephone'

We're not sure about Beyonce's new friend Lady Gaga. The usually prim and proper Beyonce will be sitting at a piano and pouring fake blood down her tits before you know it.

But until she goes totally off the rails the pair have teamed up to record two songs about telephones. Alexander Graham Bell would be so proud.

Here's the video to the Beyonce feat. Lady Gaga effort 'Videophone':



Is it just us or does that video a bit cobbled together at the last minute ("Is Gaga free? OK, quick, send her over. No, no, you've got at least half an hour, Beyonce's just filming the Reservoir Dogs bit. Oh and tell her to bring a push up bra, Beyonce's boobs are all over this one.")? Not so keen on the song either, but we'll put money on it being one that we slate now, and then after having it blared to us on the radio, in BHS, in the pub etc we'll start loving it by the time it's released.

And this is the Lady Gaga feat. Beyonce effort 'Telephone':



Now this is a bloody brilliant song. From the Greensleaves opening right through to the vocodered Grand Central Station. It also probably helps that there's no video yet because the sight of Gaga pisses us right off.

Anyway, the important thing is the effect that these songs have on the official UK telephone chart. Here's how it looks now:

1. Hangin' On The Telephone - Blondie
2. The Call - Backstreet Boys
3. Telephone - Lady Gaga feat. Beyonce
4. Wichita Lineman - Glen Campbell
5. Videophone - Beyonce feat. Lady Gaga

Don't call us etc...

More of a full on stalker thing than a crush: Hyper Crush 'Keep Up'

We have loved Hyper Crush for a very long time, even longer back than when we wrote this. Recently they supported Lady Gaga on tour. We didn't go to see them because, whilst we like some of Lady Gaga's music, we think she is a bit of a wanker. However, there's no denying that she has her finger very much on the pulse of today's cultural zeitgeists so a recommendation from her is probably a good thing.

Donny, Holly and Preston are releasing a new single, 'Keep Up', today. When we say today we mean today US time, which means the middle of the night UK time. So sort of tomorrow depending on where in the world you live (if you're in Australia it's going to be middle of the week, which means if you buy it the second it's released you bought it in the future and that's sort of the equivalent of time travelling).

It sounds like this (only less crackly and probably not recorded on a camera phone):


What is fucking brilliant about Hyper Crush is the ferocity with which they approach everything. Look at their photos, their videos, their myspace, their website, their merchandise (Pigeon has the neon yellow tshirt - thanks Spencer), their multiple Twitters, their live shows, their etc etcs. Hyper Crush clearly live and breath Hyper Crush, which makes us want to live and breath Hyper Crush and live in a world where everything is controlled by neon robots and we all wear gloves with lasers and protect our eyes from the sun with funky shades and dance around in our neon encrusted pants to bands like, er, Hyper Crush.

UPDATE: Hyper Crush's people very kindly sent us the track so that you to hear the true 'this was recorded in a studio not at a noisy gig' version of the track. Listen right about here.

Download a free mix tape here.
A very neon Hypercrush Myspace can be found here.

Brilliant free pop music from Swedish boys, I Always Wanted A Pony!

We have written about I Always Wanted A Pony! before, but this time around is altogether more interesting. This time, instead of recommending you listen to this incredible Swedish electropop band, we're recommending you download two songs by this incredible Swedish electropop band. For free. No cash. None.

'The Weekend' is a huge, gallant dance-pop anthem full of dreamy looped vocals, cowbells and synths. 'Standing Without You' is more of a complete pop song with verses and choruses. Think of these two as their 'One More Time' and 'Digital Love' (they sound nothing like either, this is just a representative comparison). Although all four are utterly perfect pop songs so they do all have that in common.

Download: I Always Wanted A Pony! 'The Weekend' and 'Standing Without You'

I Always Wanted A Pony! are one of our favourite bands we've heard all year, and even though we're not quite there yet, if we were making a 'ones to watch' list for 2010 right now, this lot would be pretty close to the top.

I Always Wanted A Pony! at MySpace.

Is Leona Lewis a fan of huge sprawling Japanese role playing games?

Final Fantasy games usually tends to look a lot like this:

Which is a strange world for Leona Lewis to launch herself into, but she's going to be singing the theme tune to the next (the thirteenth) installment.

Although, to be honest, 'she's going to be singing' isn't quite true, apparently the production company have plucked the actually-quite-amazing 'My Hands' from her new album Echo. So minimum effort on everyone's part but maximum income for Syco Records with the lead song on Japan's biggest game of 2010. This is the song. It is very, very good indeed.

Leona Lewis 'My Hands'

Wonder if Japan is proving difficult for Leona Lewis to crack? Or maybe she just fancies some of what Shampoo had at their peak... (We mean fame in Japan and lots of cash - not dyed pink hair and sunglasses on the end of her nose).

You are only famous if your fans are trampling on each other's heads to see your oily chest

JLS are now so famous that their fans are literally willing to risk their lives in order to see their shows.

Here is a link to a news piece which accurately tells the story of the 'JLS concert crush'.

It's genuinely amazing how famous they have become. It's not amazing because JLS are not very good, it is amazing because everything about JLS is so wrong (or seemed so wrong until they released 'Beat Again') for the music scene today. Their performance on X Factor a few weeks back was an embarrassingly dated recreation of the over-choreographed days of Backstreet Boys and N*Sync and by all sense and logic should be totally irrelevant to today's pop music fan. This is all saying nothing of their colour co-ordination and individual band member album covers.

But the sales say that all these things are thoroughly approved of. Clearly today's teen audience are not, as the likes of Skins would have you believe, just listening to Soulwax remixes of Gossip singles, Crystal Castles and Hadouken!. They are also finding time for a group of nice looking young men who take their tops off a lot, share disproportionate vocal duties and find a dance move for every lyric in every song.

The British pop world is a better place for their existence - although we'd draw the line at approving of teenage girls trampling each other half to death in an attempt to get closer to Marvin's nipples.

Christ on a bike - Cleopatra are back together

The news that mostly-forgotten nineties girlband Cleopatra are back together is good news for fans of old fashioned r&b untouched by the likes of Taio Cruz or Ne-Yo. It is also good news for fans of mostly dreadful TV shows based around marginally successful girl singers. Sadly, history saw that the Cleopatra ITV show didn't really do for the girls what Miami 7 on the BBC did for S Club 7.

Here is a recent picture of Cleopatra. Any TV show they are involved in now would more likely be on very late at night and possibly have a few Xs on the end.We are literally agog - THEY ARE BLOCKING A CYCLE LANE FOR GOODNESS SAKE.

They have certainly grown-up from this:



Although saying that Cleopatra are 'back together' is clearly nonsense. They are sisters for goodness sakes, you could call having a bowl of cereal at the same time a Cleopatra reunion if you so wished.

We wish them the best. There is some new music on their MySpace page should you be so inclined (although you're probably best watching 'Cleopatra's Theme' again if we're totally honest).

Sunrise Swords: like a good poke in the morning (in the ears)

We started writing about a Massachusetts electro band Sunrise Swords and it ended up sounding a bit like Marge Simpson singing 'Springfield Soul Stew'. We were making all sorts of terrible comparisons to other bands. It sounded a little like this 'ooh take a bit of Hadouken! and a pinch of Crystal Castles, throw them back into an old Nintendo and you'll have blahblahblah' and it was all sounding rather horrible. As you now know.

Essentially, those references are correct, we just wish we had a more eloquent and original way of putting things. But however you describe them, Sunrise Swords make a wonderful, bleepy, energetic mess of music that we have fallen a little bit in love with. Their music is instrumental but there is so much going on in their tracks 'Amazing Love' and 'Glass Glimmering of Colour' that this is absolutely a good thing.

We can't tell you much more than that right now, because this lot are rather new as bands go. Although what we can say is that the name 'Sunrise Swords' is clearly a nice alternative to 'morning glory' which is something men will be far more familiar with than women and is all a bit rude so here's Marge Simpson singing that song we referenced previously. We wouldn't want to lose our image as 'family friendly' now, would we.

Marge Simpson 'Springfield Soul Stew'

And here is the Sunrise Swords' MySpace.

Baby Monster 'Ultra Violence & Beethoven'

A name like Baby Monster is so perfect for a band you wonder why no-one thought of it before. Actually, there's probably some 80s prog rock band who have already got the name and will sue Baby Monster Mk II when they hit the big time. And they are due to do that pretty soon if we're any sort of success barometer (we're not). It's not a problem though because they can just become Baby Monster X.

Baby Monster released 'Ultra Violence and Beethoven' on Monday, and before we even get onto what it sounds like let's consider some aesthetic qualities.

First, the name 'Ultra Violence and Beethoven'. A Clockwork Orange is Pigeon's favourite book in the world ever and so this blatant reference is as though the band sat down and thought "how can we get world renowned blog Robot Pigeon to write about this song?". If that doesn't work then the incredible neon vinyl comes into play as some sort of shiny visual trap:


And finally, the least important part really, the music. In terms of lazy 'successful band analogies' think Sigur Ros meets MGMT meets Depeche Mode and you're on the right lines. We can't find a broken youtube clip to post so you'll have to head to their myspace to listen, but it's totally worth that click of your mouse here.

And if you're still one of those people into exchanging money for sound (hi mum) you can get it at Puregroove.

PS Their Ellie Goulding remix is really very interesting indeed.

Look away now if you are not interested in pretty young women kissing each other

We should probably be posting something a little more pro-active today instead of another new video for a song we love, but we have had a lot on recently. Nothing really worth bringing up here because it is all of a personal nature and what we get up to in our own time is not your concern. Nosey parkers.

But here is the video for Simian Mobile Disco and Beth Ditto's amazing 'Cruel Intentions' single.



Now, we've watched this video repeatedly in an attempt to work out what on earth is going on but all we can tell you is that the basic 'plot' seems to involve some lesbianism, potential drug abuse and the sort of party that poorly-educated young men foolishly believe take place at girls' boarding schools. Videos like this will do nothing to dispell the notion.

'Cruel Intentions' is Simian Mobile Disco's most commercial single since... Oh who are we kidding? Every Simian Mobile Disco is 'commercial'. From 'It's The Beat' to 'Hustler' to 'I Believe' to 'Audacity of Huge'. They all sound like massive hits to us but all fail reliably to make any impression on the charts whatsoever. It is close to criminal - a music caution perhaps. Beth Ditto is on the track, which we could say would help the track's chances of selling a few copies but you only have to look at the chart placings for her last two singles with Gossip ('Heavy Cross' - 37 and 'Love Long Distance' - NOWHERE) to realise that while Ditto is a marketable lesbian indie icon, she's anything but a reliable young woman to call upon when you want to shift a few copies of your latest release.

We love everything about this single - except for the bit where nobody buys it and it doesn't get in the charts (cut to a new entry at number 39).

Kid Sister still has her Right Hand Hi and must be getting a sore arm by now

We're not going to lie to you - the video for Kid Sister's 'Right Hand Hi' is fairly ropey brilliantly camp so it's just as well that she is a musician and not an independent film maker. We will continue to judge her on the music she makes instead of the video treatments she approves and outfits she allows herself to get dressed up in.

So visuals aside, 'Right Hand Hi' is as good now as it was when we first wrote about the track in July and with Radio One support - well, they've tossed it onto their 'Upfront' playlist, which is where they stick all the people they don't want to make too much of a commitment to in case it all goes a bit tits-up (see also Ellie Goulding). It's a strange one for us, because both the Kid Sister and the Ellie Goulding single are easy hits if you ask us - meanwhile Radio One throws it's full weight behind Little Boots, James Morrison and that truly chronic new Dizzee Rascal single.

So, waffle aside, here is a video which we think has flashes of brilliance for a song we think is a strobe-light of amazingness. 'Right Hand Hi' is probably not going to find much of a footing for itself in the run-up to Christmas but we are sure that dropping this track into the manic Christmas market is all part of a much bigger plan.

Ta and da.

David Guetta and Estelle made me do it

David Guetta hasn't had a bad year what with all that Kelly Rowland and Black Eyed Peas success. He probably didn't do too bad for himself with the Akon single too, but if you'll excuse us, that one wasn't our cup of tea.

Our favourite song on his also-rather-popular album One Love is, and has always been his Estelle collaboration, 'One Love'. It's got that whole 'Oh i'm a bit sad so lets go and have a little dance about it' feeling to the song which always goes down well and it now also has a video. This video.



We are now terrified of looking up from our desks in work and seeing that pair standing over us doing a heart symbol. We'd like to explain that one to our bosses: 'But, but, Estelle and David Guetta made me do it'. 'Yes of course they did Robot, do you have five minutes for a quick chat about your behaviour recently' - et-cetera et-cetera.

OR on the other hand, we might give the whole thing a go ourselves. No doubt the tramps who sit outside Finsbury Park Tesco would love it if we made a heart shape at them and expected them to do a little dance.

By 'love it' we mean 'set the dogs on us' obviously.

Oh now where were we? Ah yes. David Guetta and Estelle. It is a very good and the video is quite good and we are sure all those dancers enjoyed the opportunity to perform in a top pop promo clip.

New Music Monday's Venus Stare - now with added artwork

On the day before yesterday (Monday) we wrote about The Venus Stare. At the moment they only have one song, but that song is officially better than very good, and now it has a picture (pka artwork) to go with it. It looks like this:


If you are a dog you will probably just see that in black and white. But then, if you're a dog you have probably never known the wonder of colour in the first place so it won't mean anything to you anyway. And also if you are a dog you will probably hear The Venus Stare's music in a different way to humans too. Actually, if you are a dog what the hell are you doing using a computer?

We digress. The point of this post is not canine in nature at all. It's more to say that we really like the direction The Venus Stare project is going. There are a lot of 80's influenced/music related projects kicking around at the moment, but this one is on course to be more of a Breakfast Club than a Howard The Duck. This artwork is great. The song is great. Which averages an overall grade of 8/5. Well done everyone. Single's out in January kids.

The Myspace style area of the internet belonging to The Venus Stare is here.

Just tell us when you're sick of Ke$ha ok? Kids Of 88 Remix

We've kind of played 'Tik Tok' to death, but it's still clinging on with a dying breath to our 'now playing' lists. Luckily we might have found a rusty old defibrillator in the form of the Kids Of 88 remix:



This keeps the essence of the original, but replaces the backing with some funky FannyPack style bass, handclaps, Tom Toms and then some thrash guitar and SNES sound effects. Wonderful. Prognosis looking good for at least another 50 plays of this one.

It also gives us an excuse to go back and listen again to Kids Of 88's 'My House', which really was VERY VERY good. Why did this never do anything? Ah, the mysteries of the music industry.

*WARNING: Contains wobbly tits*



Hurry up and record some more songs please Kids Of 88.

PS You should really have an apostrophe on '88.

Chew Lips: Download 'Seven' Labyrinth Jackals remix

We wrote a thing the other week about Chew Lips' residency in London. It was in our diary for a few weeks and we were definitely 100% going to go but then we remembered Sea Patrol UK was on something really important came up. We will go to the next one we promise. Mainly because we have been reminded of how amazing they are by this remix right here:

Download: Chew Lips 'Seven' - Labyrinth Jackals Remix

If you want to see the people who make all of that wonderful noise stand on a stage and make the noise in real life they've got some gigs around the UK prior to the next London residency. If we were going to copy and paste a list of them, and then write a little comment about whether we'd ever been to the place or not, it would look not unlike this:

18 Nov 2009 - Oakford Social Club - Reading - Been here. The tea was nice.
19 Nov 2009 - Re Format - Liverpool - Not been here, but we were told in no uncertain terms last night that we MUST VISIT. We said yes (we won't).
20 Nov 2009 - Fibbers - York - Not been here, but did apply to go to University here (and were rejected)
21 Nov 2009 - Death Disco @ The Arches - Glasgow - Not been here. It is too far abroad in Scotland.
24 Nov 2009 - Flapper - Birmingham - Been here, meh.
25 Nov 2009 - Louisiana - Bristol - Yes, been here lots. They talk funny.
26 Nov 2009 - Lennons - Southampton - Not been here, but we do like ham.
27 Nov 2009 - Boilerroom - Guildford - We don't even know where this is.
28 Nov 2009 - Cockpit 3 - Leeds - We have been here. We don't talk about it.
1 Dec 2009 - Winter Residency @ Venue TBC - London - We live here.

Insightful.

Find out more at Chew Lips on Myspace and all that other online nonsense...

New music Monday: The Venus Stare 'Close To You'

Now that Alphabeat have ditched the uplifting, band-driven pop sound of their first album for something altogether more eighties and altogether more 'Stine' there's a gap in the market (or at the very least, our iPods) for brilliant boy-girl guitar pop about love and sunshine and the like.

And perhaps The Venus Stare will be the ones to slip into the not-quite-cold seat Alphabeat have left. We are judging this on the strength of the single, solitary song we have heard, but as far as single, solitary songs go, 'Close To You' is a bloody brilliant introduction to this new collective.

'Close To You' is full of brilliant harmonies, more hooks than can be healthy and the greatest guitar solo since Daft Punk's 'Digital Love'. It is looking a little bit lonely on The Venus Stare MySpace page right now, but in this world it's quality over quantity and for a new-band demo, this is really quite exceptional.

Click here to listen to 'Close To You' by The Venus Stare.

Nightriders make a pact with the Devil: Justin Faust remixes 'Take My Hand'

Over the weekend, whilst Robot & Pigeon were doing constructive things like hanging out the window listening to Victoria Wood songs at 2am, Justin Faust was actually doing something worthwhile. He was finishing off his remix of Nightrider's 'Take My Hand'.

You can download it right here

Now there may not be a direct genealogical connection, but Faust (as in Dr Faustus) was the man who sold his soul to the Devil in exchange for knowledge. Do we think Justin has sold his soul in return for musical abilities? He seems to be able to inject a shot of disco into the arm of any track, regardless of the original being an above average pop ditty (Hello, Frankmusik's 'Better Off As Two') or a theoretically untouchable dance classic (Take a bow, Daft Punk's 'Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger').

This is also true of 'Take My Hand' (if it wasn't that last paragraph would just have been a load of old rambling. Imagine that). The original is actually close to 'Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger' in its use of driving synths and vocoder. Faust's take brings back some house sound and adds a hearty bass. Sometimes when Pigeon dances he imagines his legs are made of bass strings and when he hears a bass like this they wobble and go all funny and then he gets a tingling feeling in his groin and...anyway.

Let's just say it's fucking brilliant and leave it at that, yes? Fingers crossed Faust turns his hand to Victoria Wood sometime soon...

Faust on Myspace

It is time for the Sugababes to quit or at least have a long hard think about what they are playing at

There has been a lot of discussion over whether 'Sugababes' should continue now that there are no original members in the line-up.

We think it's long overdue they called it a day, and not just because Keisha was replaced with that girl who got hit in the face with a violin on Eurovision. Sugababes needs to be laid to rest because their new music is nothing short of chronic. If you thought 'About A Girl' was a horrendous mess of a pop single with an incomprehensible video and dreadful lyrics, wait until you've heard 'Wear My Kiss'.

Actually, you won't need to wait much longer to hear the rubbish next Sugababes single, because it's here in all it's low, radio-rip quality.

Sugababes 'Wear My Kiss'

WHAT A RACKET. And to think, this is the album campaign they hope will break them in the US.

Let's have a look at the lyrics to Heidi's verse - which she sings twice, so well written is the following prose.

'I'm just a pretty little thing, that'll make you wanna sing, make you wanna buy a ring / I don't wanna settle down, I just wanna fool around'

There cannot be a chapter in 'My First Book of Rhyming Lyrics' that Sugababes have not now stolen from. Is it possible to spin in a grave before you are dead? If so, Siobhan, Mutya and Keisha must be rotating at a dangerous velocity right now.

Dear The World...

We should all stop taking television so seriously. Lucie Jones was merely asked to stop singing on a talent show, not put up against a wall and shot in the face.

Besides, being voted off X Factor at such an early stage isn't necessarily the end of the world, just ask Laura White, (she was the 2008 Lucie Jones - kinda-ok, long dark hair, had a face and shoes and stuff) who is currently 'riding high' in the Top 40 with her 'You Should Have Known' single. By riding high we mean skirting the less desirable end of the top forty, but nonetheless, it's not the end.

Now lets all lighten up and maybe get out of the house next weekend.

Addeboy vs Cliff 'Beep My Beep' - amazing if all a bit 'April 2009'

Pfft. We'd love to pretend this was some sort of brand new discovery but we'll be honest with you - what follows is about five months old. So please move along if Addeboy vs Cliff is old news to you. Apols etc.

Addeboy vs Cliffe are two Swedish producers responsible for one of 2009's biggest (and generally unnoticed) novelty singles in their 'Beep My Beep' single. It is essentially Eric Prydz 'Call On Me' for the Skins generation with the world's least subtle innuendo in the chorus of 'I want you to *beep* my *beep*'.

The obvious is to suggest that this song is about FELLATIO but perhaps the male and female vocalists (David S and Erika M) are simply talking about home maintenence: 'I want you to clean my kitchen', 'I want you scrub my shower', 'I want you to polish my silver' or 'I want you to mow my lawn'. Although to be honest, most of them sound rather rude as well. (We had to draw the line at 'I want you to trim my bushes').

Here is the song in question. It will probably be 'discovered' by someone more influential that us in the next few months, be picked up for UK release and then have everyone excited about it mid-June 2010 - by which point even we will have forgotten writing this.



Very good.

More music at the Addeboy vs Cliffe MySpace.

The generally disappointing results of a collaboration between two people we love

As the saying goes, you cannot polish a turd. You can however roll it in glitter and tie a bow around it.

Fred Falke is the world's foremost authority on the above activity, his talent for turning usually quite boring songs (most memorable of the year from the likes of Little Boots, Gossip) into something incredible is unrivalled. But he really doesn't know what to do when the song in question is amazing to begin with.

Case in point? Ke$ha's 'TiK ToK'. Already 'quite good' and moderately danceable, the Fred Falke remix is possibly the year's most obselete recording. 'TiK ToK' was hardly crying out for a Fred Falke remix. Artists whose current singles could currently benefit from his skills include: Whitney Houston, Robbie Williams, Pixie Lott (we could go on).

*no-point-sadface*

Ke$ha 'TiK ToK' (Fred Falke remix)

This is the pop equivalent of boring old science question 'what happens when an unstoppable object hits an unbreakable wall?' The answer is: 'a right old mess'.